Oh
by planet p
Summary: Story Repost! AU; abduction, deceit, re-education, cloning, a plan and more... Miss Parker/Jarod, Lyle/Zoe, Gemini/OC, Sydney/Catherine
1. Chapter 1

**Oh** by planet p

**Disclaimer** I don't own _the Pretender_ or its characters. I don't own _You Baby_, sung by Jackie Trent.

**Author's Notes **Story Repost! AU, written in 2006-ish; M-Rated?

* * *

**The bit at the start**

Sydney sighed, gazing across the near full dining hall. The lunch hour had just started. Sydney took a deep breath and stood. Despite the large number of people with which to converse, Sydney somehow found himself wishing for the one person he could not have. Catherine Parker, the Chairman's wife, had died some two years previously.

Sydney often wondered that he still missed her, surely two years was long enough to mourn someone. But then Cathy hadn't been just anyone. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he had truly mourned her passing, or rather accepted it.

Indeed, some days he was so sure she would be there, leaning in the doorframe of his office, her sweet smile and baby blue eyes twinkling delightedly, but then when he looked up… she was not there. His heart would fall as he remembered that she had passed on, and then he would shake himself and put his feelings aside.

He sighed once again as he made his way towards his office where he kept the letters Cathy had written him the many times she had ventured from Blue Cove for some important business or simply a family holiday.

The paper still smelt of her familiar perfume, and if he closed his eyes it was almost possible to imagine she was still with him.

He no longer looked at her picture, it broke his heart to see her so happy with her baby girl. The same baby girl who was now all alone despite the fact that her father still lived. Sydney found it very hard to not step in and comfort the child some days. He would even find himself having to physically remove himself from her presence in order to control the impulse to embrace her and promise it would all be okay, a promise he knew was just another lie she endured day after empty day.

* * *

Reaching his office, he realised he had no real desire to see that hand writing today and continued on down the hall towards Jarod's quarters.

Perhaps Jarod would have some awkward question to ask which would take his mind off Cathy. Jarod was full of questions, it was just the age. Sydney sniggered. Oh, and, the fact that the poor boy had been locked in a concrete cage all his life, as long as he could clearly remember anyhow.

Sydney didn't really feel like dwelling on Jarod's appalling upbringing any longer so he picked up his pace.

He stopped when he found the black door and turned the knob, letting himself in without knocking. He gazed at the grey floor a moment before looking up.

It was not so much the sight of them both there as they were that alerted him that something was badly wrong, rather the sound of rushed breathing and the little giggle. He wasn't aware of them all at once, but the sound made him look up. His dark eyes searched the room before landing on the pair sitting on the bed.

At first glance Sydney assumed they were simply talking, or perhaps Miss Parker was distressed over something and Jarod was comforting her. For one thing, the two children had clearly not registered his presence as yet. He started across the room as if to comfort the fourteen-year-old and stopped dead in his tracks.

His eyes widened in shock as he took in the state off the two. Both were practically wearing nothing, and Miss Parker's legs were wrapped around Jarod's back, her chin rested on his shoulder.

Her baby blues were wide as pennies, fixed on the ceiling for dear life. Her overlarge eyes slowly traveled down from the ceiling, fingers scabbling on skin, mouth gaping open. Those precocious eyes fell on Sydney, never faltering. She blinked, batting her eyelashes sweetly. "Oh."

Sydney hiccupped in shock, inhaling a deep ragged breath and storming across the room. Miss Parker squealed in fright and held fast to Jarod's arm, backed against the bed head.

"Sydney?" Jarod began, feeling the need to explain himself, defensively placing himself in front of the younger girl.

Sydney ignored Jarod and seized Miss Parker's upper arm, pulling her from the safety of the bed. The girl seized the grey sheet on her way out, dragging heavily on the older man's arm and yowling. She screamed as she was dragged from the room, stubbing her bare foot on the busted radio that had fallen from the bed earlier.

Jarod reached out and took her flailing hand but Sydney didn't let up, jerking the girl's tiny fingers from the boy's reach and wrenching her from the room.

* * *

Sydney didn't care how many people stared as he dragged a spitting, hissing Miss Parker up the hall, dark hair scruffy and tousled, a grey sheet covered in algorithms clutched desperately about her.

* * *

The Chairman, Mr. Parker, was on the phone when Sydney burst in with his daughter, tossing her into the centre of the room. The young girl flew across the room and smacked into her father's desk with a shriek.

Mr. Parker stood abruptly. "Sydney?" he demanded in shock.

Sydney marched into the room, angrily avoiding the girl and directing his deathly glare on her father instead. His breath was heaving and unsteady. "I hope you're proud!"

Mr. Parker growled and turned to his daughter, offering to help her up. "Angel?" Miss Parker sobbed, her bottom lip trembling, and allowed her father to help her to her feet. Mr. Parker frowned at his daughter's attire. "Angel?" he questioned again.

Sydney stomped over and planted himself in direct view of both parties. "Go on, Miss Parker, tell Daddy just what his little Angel's been doing!" he retorted. Miss Parker shook her head, silent tears burning on her flesh as they raced down her flushed cheeks. Sydney snorted, a wild giggle escaping his throat. "I thought not!" he growled.

Mr. Parker opened his mouth. "Look, Sydney, I don't know what you think you're doing manhandling my daughter! And I don't know why she dressed as such, having, I assume, been dragged indignantly to my office from wherever you found her! But I WANT ANSWERS!"

Sydney huffed, standing taller, shoulders back, chest out. "Not a moment ago I walked into Jarod's room to find her wearing a little less than she is now! I wonder if Daddy can guess what his precious little darling was doing?"

Miss Parker hiccupped. Her father turned angrily to his daughter. "ANGEL, tell me what Sydney is talking about?" he demanded in harsh tones.

The girl sniffed, her breath hitching. "Daddy," she pleaded, "we didn't mean anything by it, I sw-"

"TELL ME! WHAT YOU DID?"

She hiccupped again, wiping at her eyes frantically as fresh tears welled up. She glared down at her feet rather than face her father's gaze. "We were h-having sex," she answered defiantly.

Mr. Parker looked about to yell but her answer, apparently not what he had expected, momentarily shocked him into silence. "YOU WHAT?" he asked breathlessly, hating himself for sounding so ridiculous.

Sydney laughed harshly.

"We had sex AND I LIKED IT!" the little girl screamed to her father.

Mr. Parker looked as though he may explode any second, however, when he spoke it was with a deadly calmness. "Take her away," he ordered as though she were little more than a faulty appliance. "She will be dealt with in the morning." He turned back to his desk and picked up the receiver.

Sydney gripped the shocked girl's arm and dragged her to the door. "Daddy! Daddy, NO!" the girl screamed uselessly. "Daddy, I did nothing wrong! DADDY! Sy's book said it was only natural! It said it was not good to bottle these things up! I swear I never meant to hurt you Daddy! DADDY!"

The Chairman didn't look up as his daughter was pulled from the room and the door was slammed shut, cutting out her desperate pleas.

* * *

The following morning, Miss Parker was packed off to a Catholic boarding school halfway across the country. Her father didn't bother to kiss her goodbye.

A month or so later, Miss Parker found out she was pregnant. She wasn't taken out of school, instead she was left to face the humiliation of the other girls as well as her teachers.

It was not easy for the teen but she eventually got used to the idea that she was going to be a mummy just like her own mother.

Mr. Parker, having ignored his daughter completely for seven months, sent Sydney to her boarding school with her birthday present and a lousy excuse that her Daddy was busy with an important meeting in Spain.

Her birthday present turned out to be a needle stuck in her neck and a trip to the hospital where she was to undergo an abortion for 'health reasons'.

She figured that meant there would be no 'bedtime stories', and once and for all, made a promise to live up to her title as a 'slut'. Her Daddy would be proud. She was going to do it all. She no longer had a heart, her Daddy had seen to that when he had killed her baby. It was time for revenge. She would live up to the Parker name. Ice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter One**

Miss Parker straightened further in her chair, watching her father as he spoke of the latest developments to recapture the escaped Pretender, Jarod, who was, incidentally, her favourite prey.

The sound of shouting in the hall outside interrupted Mr. Parker's little speech and he fell silent abruptly, turning disgracefully to the door, where, not a moment later, a young woman of about twenty, strode into the boardroom, slamming the door on the security guards as they attempted to stop her from entering.

She gave a strangled squeal of excitement and tossed her head. All eyes had turned to her the moment she had walked in, dressed in nothing but a deep navy bikini covered in rainbow polka dots.

The guards burst in after her. "Sorry, sir, we tried to stop her but-"

Mr. Parker raised his hand, effectively cutting them off. "Angel, darling, is that anything to wear to a boardroom brief?"

Angel squealed that same squeal of hers and gazed innocently at him with her overlarge eyes and too wide half-grin. "Oh, a briefing? What fun! Oh, Parky, can I join? Can I? Please? Please? Please?" She nodded encouragingly, sticking her tongue out over her bottom lip.

Miss Parker made a repulsed sound in the back of her throat, glaring at her father for explanation, which he did not give. He remained turned to Angel. "Of course, Angel, take a seat."

Angel squealed and plonked herself down beside Sydney, batting her eyelashes at him in a sickly-sweet manner. Sydney looked away from her quickly.

The briefing continued, Angel squealing every now and again, tossing her head in that twitchy manner. Miss Parker noticed that she had edged considerably closer to Sydney who was trying hard to ignore this fact and fight the impulse to run.

At the conclusion of the brief, Mr. Parker stood and held a hand out to indicate that Angel should do the same. Angel extricated herself from Sydney's lap, much to Sydney's immense relief, and bounced to her feet, giggling. "May I introduce Anna Gellina Reaver."

Angel giggled again, nodding her head and slouching only to straighten again. "Parky, you know I hates that name!" She frowned in disconcertion. "Parky put me on this team to help you find Wonder boy!" she cooed. When she spoke it was in that same strangled growl laced heavy with squirmy delight.

Mr. Parker nodded, eyes for no one but this new girl. Miss Parker snorted. Broots sunk lower in his chair. Sydney made no comment. Lyle groaned sickly, having turned slightly paler.

* * *

Miss Parker was the first out the door, followed by Lyle, Broots and Sydney. She snorted. "Daddy can't be serious!" she exploded in tones on incredulity.

Sydney sighed, frowning grimly. "Apparently he is."

Lyle groaned again but held his silence, apparently too sick to speak.

Broots shook his head. "Did you see what she was wearing?!"

Sydney rolled his eyes. "Oh yes!"

"She's a nightmare come true!"

Lyle groaned for the third time. "Can we change the subject?"

Miss Parker turned to her brother. "Shut up!"

* * *

Miss Parker sighed, taking a drag of her cigarette and gazing out the grubby bakery window out onto the busy street. Lyle leant against the drinks fridge in a grumpy mood. Broots stood outside with Sydney who had stayed behind to lock up the car and were now on the phone with someone important Miss Parker really could give a stuff to enquire the name of.

She looked across at Angel by the counter, rolled her eyes, and strode outside, nodding to her brother in indication that he should watch the mongrel.

He gazed down at his shoes without comment, wondering if he should take up poetry, anything would be less irksome than that sweet little girl standing across the room from him.

Angel bounded over with her sugar-dusted doughnuts and four cupcakes, plopping herself down in a seat by the window and squealing excitedly as she inhaled, sitting in one of her over-accentuated girly poses. "Want one?"

Lyle looked down at her for a moment before looking away again without reply. Angel turned back to her doughnuts as though she hadn't spoken.

* * *

A cheery young woman with frazzled red hair exited the toilets and swept across the room. "May I sit here?"

Angel looked up and nodded, leering enthusiastically. "Want one?" She held out her cardboard box of cupcakes. The woman smiled and took a cupcake with pink icing and cute silver baubles.

"Thank you."

Angel leered, straightening in her seat convulsively and slouching again.

The woman gave her a very odd look but continued right on smiling. "I'm Zoe."

"Angel."

Zoe nodded. "Pretty name."

"I knoooowww." She squealed excitedly in proper Angel fashion.

Lyle sighed and turned away from the window, pushing his previous thoughts aside. He stopped when he saw Zoe and smiled. "Zoe, darling, we meet again!"

Zoe jumped, staring at Lyle in horror. He took her arm to prevent her from leaving her seat. "Keep your filthy hands off me!"

Angel half-snorted, half-squealed. "You heard the woman."

Lyle rolled his eyes and released Zoe's arm. Zoe looked back to Angel in alarm. "You're with him?"

"Pff!" Angel tossed her head twitchily. "He's with me, honey."

Lyle growled. "This pr-"

Angel leant to one side and whipped out his gun, pointing it at his head. "Spare us, Poppet!" Wrenching herself out of her seat with a little bounce, she bounded up to the counter once more, hissing back to Lyle delightedly. "Take the girl!" She stood with her legs spread wide. "Alright! Alright! This is a hold-up!"

Lyle got out of there as fast as he could, pulling Zoe after him. Miss Parker gave him a curious glance and then turned to the bakery when shots were fired. She dropped her cigarette. "Shit! Lyle, I told you to watch her!"

Lyle shrugged. "What about this one?"

"Bring her!" Miss Parker growled, on her way back to the bakery to extract Angel by any means necessary.

* * *

Lyle sat down the back with a handcuffed Zoe. Angel and Broots sat in the middle row, her large collection of baked items between them, with Sydney and Miss Parker up the front.

Zoe sniffed to herself, apparently not happy with the predicament she found herself in. She gazed across at Lyle and sniffed again. He gave her a very disturbed look. "Quit it!"

Angel turned her head and rolled her eyes at Lyle. "Un-cuff her, you idiot, what if she needs to scratch her nose?"

Lyle scowled, and deciding that Zoe could hardly try anything when both Miss Parker and he had guns, obeyed.

Zoe sniffed again, rubbing her sore wrists. Lyle shot her a sweet innocent smile.

Angel turned in her seat, kneeling on her knees. She offered Zoe her cupcake back. Zoe begrudgingly took it. "So, you're the famous Zoe, Wonder boy's plus one?"

Zoe sniffed, gazing at her cupcake rather than look into those mismatched blue and brown eyes. "Yes, I'm Jarod's girlfriend."

Angel snickered and broke into laughter that sounded akin to a waterfall of shattered glass. Lyle shivered. Zoe's smile twitched. "You must be reeeaaal close?"

Zoe nodded. "We were."

Angel put on a sad face, extending her bottom lip partially over the top. "Awww, not anymore, honey? He break your heart?"

Zoe sat up straighter. "We're still friends, I'm just not sure we're that close anymore."

Angel nodded in agreement, her eyes flying wide open. "You wanna kill the rat?" she demanded in a growl.

Zoe swallowed. "No, I'd never want to hurt Jarod."

Angel snickered again. "Oh sure!"

Zoe turned to Lyle for support and then thought better of it. "Never ever ever."

Angel snickered again, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. "Where your parents on weed when they conceived you in the back of some hippie van?"

Zoe spluttered. "What?"

Angel stuck her tongue out. "Answer the question, dumbo!"

"No!"

Angel snorted disbelievingly. "My parents loved each other. You know, like real parents are meant to, and they weren't on weed!"

Lyle killed himself laughing, smacking his head into the back of Angel's seat and earning himself a filthy glare from the younger woman. She didn't, however, bother with reprimanding him.

"I'm a love child," Angel went on proudly, "unlike certain parties, the names of which I will refrain from revealing!"

Miss Parker scowled from the driver's side front seat.

"Eat ya damn cupcake!"

Zoe jumped and started picking at the icing on her cupcake. Angel scowled, seized the cupcake, and plastered it all over Zoe's pretty face. She then huffed and sat back in her seat, facing the front. "Shut the f up!" she barked to Lyle.

Zoe whimpered, wiping the cupcake, cream and icing from her face unceremoniously.

* * *

Some time later Miss Parker's mobile rang. "Damn it, Sy, take the wheel!"

Sydney leant across and took the wheel so that Miss Parker could answer the phone. Zoe whimpered and held her hands over her face.

"_Parker, delighted to hear from you again."_

"FUCK! Wha'd' you want?" Miss Parker growled. Sydney raised his eyebrows. "Keep your eyes on the fucking road!"

Zoe whimpered again, crossing herself.

"_Miss Parker, why so angry?"_

"Don't you fucking talk to me in that tone, Labrat!"

Zoe looked about to scream something. Lyle stuck a hand over her mouth, looking extremely disgusted.

"_Straight to business, I see, a girl after my own heart. What have you done with Zoe?_ _Where have you taken her?"_

Miss Parker snorted and continued in a deadly voice barely above a breath. "Somewhere you don't know! Anyhow it's not my fucking fault! Stupid fucking new girl! First she nicks my Daddy – probably fucking him – then gets eyes on my Sy! She's even gone so far as to take it upon herself to piss my brother off! My fucking brother! She thinks she can run this fucking show! I can't believe this!"

Jarod snorted.

"Oh, fuck you!" She hung up.

Sydney gasped. "Miss Parker!"

Miss Parker glared at him. "Fuck!"

Jarod rang back a moment later. _"We'll just assume that was a faulty connection."_

Miss Parker scowled and arranged a meeting at a dance club she knew.

Jarod would turn up. He always turned up. Especially when they had his girlfriend.

Lyle made a disgusted sound and rubbed his hand on Zoe's flowery summer dress.

* * *

Miss Parker hitched on the hem of her slinky red dress, shooting Lyle a warning look. Lyle shrugged. "What?"

"Quit eying my arse, idiot!"

He sniggered. "Would I ever?"

Miss Parker stopped, spun around, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and glared at him. "Watch it, Thumbelina!"

He frowned. "Someone needs a double vodka."

Miss Parker grinned. "As long as you're paying, honey," she replied sweetly.

He smiled back but didn't reply, instead he turned to Zoe, to whom he was handcuffed, and scowled for her to hurry up. Zoe frowned unhappily in her altogether too short polka dot mod and matching headband.

* * *

Sydney and Broots sat down at the bar and ordered the drinks. Miss Parker didn't sit down and instead kept glancing around every few seconds as though she thought Jarod might suddenly pop up behind her unannounced.

Angel planted herself on the bar top beside Sydney and leant back, smiling to the barman sweetly.

Zoe gazed hopefully around for any sign of Jarod, adjusting her headband slightly. It was so annoying! She didn't think frizzy hair was meant for headbands.

Lyle rolled his eyes and glanced in the opposite direction, wondering if Angel had meant to flash her legs to Sydney whilst she sat there primly, one leg crossed over the other. He turned back to Zoe, sighing, glad that he wasn't the one stuck with doughnut girl.

Zoe blinked, worried that he might fall asleep. She waved one hand in front of his face.

"What?"

"Can't a girl get a drink around here?"

"No."

"Why not? You're not paying."

"But I am handcuffed to you."

Zoe huffed. "Oh my God! I would never go for you in a million years!"

Lyle shrugged. "How would I know? Redheads are weird!"

Zoe snorted. "Guys with one thumb are weird!"

Lyle shot her an appalled look. "You're not very nice, you know that?"

She grinned toothily. "Thanks, I'm taking lessons from you!"

"Hhh! Nice! Veeerry nice!"

Miss Parker spun around to face them. "SHUT! UP!"

Zoe jumped. Lyle rolled his eyes, attempting to cross his arms only to remember that he was handcuffed to Zoe. He huffed and glared at his sister's back silently. He turned to Zoe and whispered in her ear. "She's just ticked Wonder boy hasn't arrived yet, wants to ask him what he thinks of her new dress!"

Zoe snorted. "That's not fair. You made me do that!"

Lyle shrugged. "Whatever. Redheads are evil anyway."

"Evil enough to knee you somewhere in a minute."

Lyle blinked and turned to her. "What?"

Zoe shrugged, imitating him. "Like you said, I can be evil too, Thumbelina." She giggled.

Lyle shot his twin a desperate glance but she wasn't looking, her back was turned to him. "Oh, frig." He stomped off to the bar, Zoe yowling behind him. "A vodka, thanks, and a cherry soda for the little lady."

"Cheery soda with scotch" the little lady chimed, rubbing her handcuffed wrist with her free hand and ignoring Lyle's odd glance.

* * *

Miss Parker spun around on her barstool, playing thumb wars with herself. She looked at her watch. 9.07. She growled. _So much for your famous hypothesis, Parker!_

Sydney and Broots were talking with the barman. Lyle and Zoe were trying to see how smashed one could get with 8000 dollars credit.

Angel had gone off to dance with some young man who had offered. Miss Parker rolled her eyes. _Typical!_

* * *

Miss Parker led the way out of the club, grumbling about Jarod, who still hadn't shown up. Sydney and Broots stumbled out after each other. Lyle and Zoe, on the other hand, hardly made it halfway up the alley before tripping over each other's feet.

Miss Parker snorted. Redheads and her brother… did NOT mix! She rolled her eyes and turned out into the car park.

She blinked, whipping out her nine mill. "Get the fuck off my car, Labrat!"

Jarod snorted. "Is that any way to talk to a guest?"

"Fuck you too, honey!"

"You never said which part of the club I should meet you at. Car park's as good as any place, don't you think? Fresh air-"

She rolled her eyes. "Spare me the fucking lecture, Wonder boy."

He stood away from her SUV. "Where's Zoe?"

Miss Parker snorted again and pointed down the alley. "That way."

"And our lovely brother?"

"Oh, wouldn't you know!" she pointed again. "That way."

"About this new girl…"

A sudden giggle made him turn. "Hello, Daddy!" She stuck a needle in the side of his neck, sweet smile plastered all over her face. Everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Two**

Jarod moaned. "What the Hell was that?"

He heard the sound of a woman's laugh, opening his eyes to find that it was Miss Parker, still dressed in that same red dress, taped to a chair opposite him. "Don't you mean, who the HELL was that?"

"Yeah, that's what I meant," he intoned.

"Sweet little bunny rabbit with a pointy toy!" she cooed.

Jarod snorted. "Give a bunny rabbit a scissor and she'll make a lot of mess."

"More than you know! You do know that she's crazy right?"

"Crazier than you, you mean?"

Miss Parker burst into raucous laughter. "That's fucking right, Wonder boy, crazier than me! Funny, I somehow figure I'm not the only one a little tied up to a fucking chair at the moment!"

Jarod blinked, smiling. "No way. Best friends forever. Me too!"

She snorted and started laughing again.

* * *

Zoe yawned and opened her eyes, blinking several times. "Erm…"

"Don't even say it!"

Zoe looked across at Lyle. "Why are we duck taped to a telegraph pole?"

"Not my idea to invite those damned friends of yours," he growled.

Zoe scowled. "And what's that supposed to mean? There's nothing wrong with my friends, Freddie! It's your head that's got something wrong with it!"

He snorted. "Sure, Ging, whatever you say, darl."

Zoe sniffed. "Honey?"

"What?" he snapped.

"I don't like being stuck to a pole," she whined.

"And you think I do? Oh that's real funny, that is!"

* * *

Sydney turned over in his seat and hit his head into the cold window, sitting up with a start. "Wh-" He looked around the car and found only Broots, sleeping on the back seat.

"Broots?"

The techie mumbled and sat up tiredly. "Wha'? Yeah, yeah, I'm working on it, Miss P."

"Broots!"

Broots blinked. "Oh, sorry Sydney," he rubbed his eyes with one hand, "still half asleep."

"Where are the others?" the older man continued, impatient.

"Hhh?" Broots gazed around him, blinking again. "Wh- I dunno."

Sydney rolled his eyes. "I can see _that_, Broots."

Broots sniffed. "I dunno. They was here las' night. When we was at that bar thingy."

"We're still at that bar thingy."

Broots blinked. "Really, I thought we were in a car?"

Sydney scowled, annoyed. "The car park, Broots," he grumbled blandly.

"Car- Wha- Oh."

"Oh."

* * *

Zoe frowned, walking into the lounge to find her husband lying on the couch. She screamed. "Oh my God!" She dashed over and chucked him off the couch with a dull thud. "I sit on that!"

He moaned from the floor. "Thanks."

She plonked herself down on the couch. "Eww," she whined squeamishly. "My mat!"

Lyle snorted. "Oh, no, darl, the mat is mine."

"But where will I put my feet?"

"I dunno, on the floor?"

She squealed. "The floor's cold!"

He blinked and shut his eyes. "Whatever rings your bell, hon."

"Get off my mat!" she howled.

He opened his eyes and gazed at her enquiringly. "Why, the mat ain't got a problem with me bein' on it?"

"Your clothes clash too much. You're making the mat mad."

He snorted. "Oh, honey, the mat can't get mad," he laughed.

"No, but I can!"

She jumped off the couch and dragged him by the ear, all the way to the shower. "You can sleep in here tonight." She slammed the door.

"Honey?"

"What?" she grumbled from the other side of the door, slouching.

"Can you leave the light on, I don't like the dark?"

She huffed and opened the door one last time to switch the light on before stalking off to her room and chucking herself on her bed. _His fault, _she thought,_ I didn't ask him to get smashed. Stupid git!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Three**

Miss Parker looked across at Jarod and frowned. He nodded. They continued on up the path to the front door, where Miss Parker knocked hesitantly.

Gemini shivered, gazing around as though he thought a dozen Sweepers might suddenly jump out from behind the yellow fence and grab him.

* * *

Since Miss Parker and Jarod had escaped from the basement Angel had imprisoned them in, they had both been determined to find their respective parties; Jarod his girlfriend, Miss Parker her crazy twin; only to learn that they had been sent to the Renewal Ward and given new identities… As Freddie and Ginger Jones, proud parents of sixteen-year-old daughter, Cindy Cindy Jones.

Miss Parker had then teamed up with Jarod and his teenage clone in order to reclaim her brother, posing as a married couple with their son named Gemma (much to the boy's annoyance – he was sure it was a girl's name, yet every time he questioned them, with narrowed brown eyes, they assured him in tones of abounding sincerity that it was in fact a very popular boy's name).

Gemini didn't believe them. He vowed the first thing he would do upon meeting this Cindy, was seek her opinion.

* * *

There was a sudden cry of: "Oo, Oo, Oo!", running footsteps and a bang against the inside of the door.

Miss Parker stepped away from the door, troubled.

A moment later the door was wrenched open and there stood a bothered – but happy – Zoe. She smiled. "Yes? Anything I can do for you folks?"

Miss Parker nodded mutely, too shocked to speak. Zoe was wearing a frilly, flowery, fluro apron. Jarod stepped in, and taking Miss Parker's hand, answered for her. "Yes, um, we… we're new here, just moved in across the road," he nodded, smiling, "we thought that it would be absolutely smashing to get to know some of the neighbours."

Miss Parker nodded, baring her teeth in an apparently friendly smile, echoing her 'husband'. "Absolutely smashing."

Gemini rolled his eyes.

Zoe squealed. "Oooo! Of course, come in. Our baby's just turned sixteen. It's her birthday today!"

Miss Parker grimaced. _Well that explains why she's not dead yet, she must only wear that awful… thing… on special occasions._ "Thank you."

Zoe nodded. "Oh, it's no problem really, darl. Cindy doesn't have many friends. It'll be nice to have company for such a special occasion."

Jarod nodded this time. Gemini looked around the house in mild interest.

"Honey Pie!" Zoe screamed up the hall. "Honey Pie?" Zoe left her apron in the kitchen, where ABBA was blaring from a tiny cassette player, and they went into the lounge.

Gemini sat down on the sofa.

* * *

A sixteen-year-old girl came dashing into the lounge, frizzy red hair covered by a baseball cap, wearing a baggy denim dungaree, over-stretched headband wrapped around her wrist as a bangle.

Zoe squealed when she saw her, her eyes growing very wide. "Honey Pie?"

Her daughter grinned toothily, covered in a lot of black oil by the looks of it. "Helping Daddy with the car," was all the explanation she gave, in that sweet innocent voice.

Zoe blinked, turning to the guests in fright.

Cindy turned back around and rolled her blue eyes at her father, who had just come in from the hall. He smirked, giving her a knowing look. She frowned, leaning forward slightly. "Daddy, you've got some on your face."

He blinked. "No I haven't."

Cindy giggled and smeared grease all over his cheek, diving behind her frazzled mother quickly. Zoe put her hands on her hips. "Freddie!" He frowned, perfectly innocent. "We! Have! Guests!"

His frowned deepened. "So we have." He gave the guests a tiny wave before turning back to his wife. "Well, fixed the fuel pump."

Zoe shot him a stern look, tossing her head to one side as though she found this information of very little interest. "Cindy's supposed to be having fun on her birthday, not helping you fix the bleeding car!" she mumbled.

Cindy opened her mouth to protest but was cut short when her father grabbed her mother about the middle and started kissing her. Cindy clapped her hands over her face to hide her blushing and giggled.

* * *

Gemini tried to ignore the shocked looks his 'parents' were giving one another and stood up. "Hi," he said to Cindy.

Cindy dropped her hands and rearranged one on her hip. She tossed her head back, nodding her chin. "Hi."

She moved around her parents, who had backed into the wall and knocked a framed photo from the wall. "Cindy," she introduced herself.

Gemini held out his hand hesitantly. "Gem."

Cindy grinned. "Your parents look as though they've never seen anyone kissing before."

Gem shrugged. "Prob'ly haven't."

Cindy snorted. "Hon, they're in for a treat then."

* * *

After extricating herself from her husband and brushing a hand across his lips, frowning, her lipstick smudging slightly, she turned back to their guests, smiling, her face only slightly flushed. "Baby, these are our new neighbours, they live that way somewhere," she pointed out the lounge window.

He held out his hand. "Well, welcome to Blue Cove."

Jarod took his hand, smiling an entirely fake smile. "Thanks. It seems like such a nice place."

Zoe nodded. "Oh I know!" she chimed, gazing across at her husband interestedly.

Miss Parker cleared her throat and stepped up to stand beside Jarod. "So, um, we heard about a party."

Lyle turned to his wife and grinned. "That's right, our little pumpkin's just turned sixteen. She's so excited."

Cindy snorted from across the room, holding a hand over her mouth. "Daddy, you know I wanted to go dancing. I've never been before."

Zoe inhaled suddenly, hiccupping slightly and giving her daughter a shocked look. "Honey Pie, Mummy's not stoned, she knows what happens at those disco places."

Cindy rolled her eyes.

"They're not safe, they're not! People die in places like that – burned alive."

Cindy blinked, turning to her father for appeal. Lyle shrugged. Cindy huffed, crossing her arms and turning back to Gem. "Wanna see my room?"

Gem frowned but then nodded. "Yes."

Cindy shoved him in the arm. "You even talk weird, this ain't a quiz show, boy." She dragged him out of the room. "I've got the basement. It's the coolest. Plus, less nightmares…" She trailed off, shuddering for effect.

* * *

Six o'clock saw everyone crowded around the kitchen table, no sign of Cindy's friends. Zoe happily sat a pot of spaghetti down in the middle of the table, burning the flowery tablecloth in the process. She dashed over to the sink and pulled open a drawer. A moment later she bounced back over, hands full of forks which she handed around before serving everyone up.

"Oooo gooey spaghetti!" Cindy enthused.

"And cheese," Zoe chimed, pulling out a can and spraying cheese on everyone's pasta.

Miss Parker looked sickened for a moment. "Mmm-mmm," she said, glaring at Jarod.

Zoe sat down beside her husband and handed the tomato sauce bottle around after pouring an absolute bucketful on top of her own plate.

* * *

"So what do we all do for work?" Zoe inquired.

Miss Parker prodded her untouched pasta and frowned. "Accountancy," she lied smoothly.

Zoe nodded, "Mmm."

"Um, l-lawyer…" Jarod replied.

Zoe nodded once more. "I sell lingerie. Freddie's a mechanic." She laughed in a fluttery manner which recalled butterflies trapped in a jar with no air. "You'd never guess, huh?"

Miss Parker put on a serious face, shaking her head. "Noo, noo, never."

Cindy ate her pasta in silence, staring at Gem the whole time. Gem tried not to look too unnerved. It wasn't that he wasn't used to a lot of attention, it was just that that attention had never been from a teenage girl before.

Miss Parker shot her 'son' a glare that quite clearly said 'eat ya damned food' despite the fact that she hadn't touched a bite of her own.

"Accountancy, is that fun?"

Miss Parker glanced across at her brother, worried. "Erm… not really, damn boring, but it pays, I guess…"

Zoe stared at her husband with wide eyes, before thumping her fork down on the table, straight through his hand.

Cindy spat her food back onto her plate, her blue eyes pennies in her face.

Lyle frowned, looking up at his wife. "Ging? That hurts."

Zoe smiled sweetly, cooing. "Oh, I'm so sorry, baby, I slipped, and – oh – I'm so sorry!" She sniffed.

Lyle frowned sadly. "I know, baby."

Zoe sniffed again before giving the fork an extra twist and pulling it out of his hand. "Ooo, baby, I think that needs a plaster."

He nodded, gazing down at the blood as though queasy. "Mmm…"

* * *

Cindy sat on the sofa, her arms crossed tightly across her chest, an obstinate frown etched across her pretty face.

Her parents were back from bandaging her father's hand up and they were all seated in the lounge, the parents discussing kids, of all things.

Gem rolled his eyes. This was a very boring party, and so far, there were no presents. He had heard that people received presents for their birthday anniversary. He gave Cindy a comforting smile.

* * *

Miss Parker shoved Gem towards the centre of the room, growling, "Go dance with the girl!"

Cindy's parents had decided that seeing as Cindy wasn't allowed to go clubbing, they could turn up the music a while and dance in the lounge.

Miss Parker, seriously considering the option that someone had given her brother a frontal lobotomy, sat down on the sofa beside Jarod, not eager to partake in the 'festivities'. Jarod looked just as grim.

Cindy rolled her eyes at her parents who were dancing a very bad waltz to ABBA. She turned to Gem with a look of incredulous hilarity. Gem grinned nervously, waiting for her to start dancing so he could copy her.

* * *

Jarod frowned. Miss Parker was now openly whacking her hand on her head, muttering to herself. "Jez?" Miss Parker didn't look up all at once. "Jezebel?"

"What?" she snapped.

He smiled. "Smile."

She bared her teeth. "Happy now?"

"Super happy!"

She snorted and looked away from him.

* * *

Zoe and Lyle finished singing 'happy birthday' and Zoe gave their daughter her present. Cindy smiled falsely. "For me? Gee, that's nice. You shouldn't have…"

Zoe nodded encouragingly, eyes wide. "Open it, Honey Pie."

Cindy moaned and began unenthusiastically unwrapping her present, evidently fed up with pretending to be having a good time. She blinked. A book. "Oh, wow! Just what I've always wanted, like, since I was two," she drawled.

Zoe clapped. "Oo! Oo!" She jumped off the coffee table and rushed to change the CD.

Cindy groaned, trying to hide behind her book. "Not karaoke. Oh, God, please, what have I ever done? I haven't slept with any boys, taken any drugs, shop lifted, gotten plastered on brandy, written any hate mail… God, if there's any mercy left in this world – kill me now!"

Zoe sat back down beside her husband, practically in his lap, and whispered something in his ear.

* * *

Gem removed himself from his seat and sat down beside Cindy, patting her on the back. She buried her head in his shoulder, refusing to listen to her parents singing 'Rock me'. Gem frowned, patting her on the head. They weren't so bad. Lyle could at least sing. Zoe… well, at least she tried.

When Lyle and Zoe had finished their song, Zoe dashed over to Miss Parker and Jarod and attempted to coerce them into singing also.

Jarod finally persuaded Miss Parker to get it over and done with, at which she shot him a wilted glare, replying: "Absolutely smashing," and turning to Zoe.

"Ah, you know I've been wanting you, my whole life through. And now that you're my guy, I'm gonna live and die, for only you. Baby, now you're gonna know, all the ways I find to thrill you so. You're gonna see, there's a lifetime of love in me, just for – you baby! You baby…"

* * *

It was around eleven o'clock when Miss Parker and Jarod finally got away, more or less physically unharmed.

Gemini had whined and protested a lot but had eventually agreed to sleeping over for one night. He was delegated the sofa.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Four**

Miss Parker plonked herself down on a red barstool and turned to Jarod who was busy looking at the menu. Miss Parker sighed and gazed around the pizza café, wondering if they did real coffee.

She took a deep breath and tried to erase the memory of that horrid pasta from her mind, the horrid pasta which Jarod had eaten, too polite to turn down his girlfriend's cooking.

* * *

Sydney sighed and sat down at the bar, ordering a coffee and opening his poetry book to a page book-marked with a blue ribbon.

His coffee arrived five minutes later but he wasn't really taking any notice.

* * *

The young waitress popped her bubblegum, tallying up the bill on the cash register.

Miss Parker frowned suddenly and turned to Jarod. "You got 'ny money?" she whispered.

He shook his head. "I thought you had?"

"Damn!"

* * *

Sydney sighed and looked up from the book he was reading, reaching across the counter for the sugar. He blinked, hiccupping, wondering if he was seeing things.

He wasn't. Miss Parker and Jarod, huntress and hunted, were huddled together, conversing in hushed tones.

Miss Parker leant across Jarod's shoulder and whispered something in his ear, eying the waitress warily. Stepping back from him, she exclaimed loudly: "Oh my God! I love you so much, honey!" and proceeded in throwing her arms around him.

The poetry book slipped from Sydney's grasp and landed with a dull thud on the lino floor.

Almost as if this wasn't enough, Miss Parker and Jarod started kissing. Sydney placed a hand over his mouth, hiccupping again.

The waitress rolled her eyes and looked away, popping her gum.

The pair used this distraction to nick off out the door without paying. Sydney blinked, quickly dropping to retrieve his book. He paid the waitress for his coffee, and enquiring as to the young couple's bill, paid that too, before snatching up his coffee in its paper cup and hurrying outside.

* * *

He found the guilty pair standing by a bike rack a block away, killing themselves laughing. "Miss Parker?" he exclaimed as though in utter surprise.

Miss Parker spun around. "Sydney? Oh my God!" Jarod burst into laughter again and she placed a hand over his mouth. "Sy, hi!"

"H-hi."

The younger woman looked across at Jarod and gave him a warning look, taking her hand from his mouth. When he didn't start laughing she smiled, satisfied. "Good boy!"

Sydney hiccupped. "I- What- Miss Parker…" Then he noticed the rings on their fingers. He hiccupped again, looking quite disturbed.

Miss Parker, seeming to notice where he was looking, held out her hand for closer inspection. "Pretty, innit?" She shot Jarod a cute smile.

Jarod smirked, looking back to Sydney. "Oh. We eloped, didn't you know?"

"E-eloped?" The doctor hiccupped.

Miss Parker snickered, pushing Jarod in the arm. "Oh, Sy, you silly thing. We didn't elope. We barely escaped that crazy girl with our lives. We're on an undercover mission."

"Together?"

Miss Parker looked around at Jarod. "Together, yeah."

Jarod took the book from Sydney so he could drink his coffee before it got completely cold. "Can we stay at your place tonight?"

Sydney nodded. "Of course."

Miss Parker nodded. "Plenty of time to explain then. Now… what's this book you were so intently reading that you didn't even notice it was your two favourite people in the world you were sitting next to?" She snatched the book out of Jarod's hands, dashing off down the street as he attempted to retrieve it from her.

"Hey, no fair, I had it first!"

Miss Parker stopped dead in her tracks and Jarod piled up on her, grabbing her around the middle to stop her from smacking face first into the concrete. She didn't appear to notice. "This is mum's writing?" She flicked through the pages before turning to the front. "'For dear Sydney, on his birthday, lots of love, as always, Catherine…'"

Sydney blushed, picking up his pace so as to reclaim his book.

"Mum gave you a poetry book for your birthday? A poetry book she wrote?"

Sydney hiccupped, looking suspiciously caught out. "Yes…"

Miss Parker didn't press the matter. "Oh. That's sweet."

"Mmm…"

She passed the book back to Jarod and whispered something in his ear. He smiled.

* * *

Gem stretched and turned over on the sofa, finding it very hard to sleep. He sat up and brushed the hair from his face.

Zoe and Lyle were still up. Gem supposed Zoe was finishing up the dishes. He sighed and stood, in mind of asking for a glass of water before he tried once more to sleep.

He walked to the door and slipped out into the hall. The kitchen door was wide open and the artificial, sterile glow of neon spilt out into the hall. Gem rubbed his eyes and looked up.

The dishes lay abandoned in the sink as the water over-flowed onto the floor, soap bubbles along with it. Lyle and Zoe didn't appear to notice that their kitchen floor was slowly flooding, too busy kissing or whatever it was they were doing.

Gem stepped back from the door. He sure as Hell wasn't going anywhere near that table ever again!

* * *

Cindy heard a knock, hid her diary under her pillow and dived off her bed to answer the bedroom door. "Gem?"

The wide-eyed boy nodded. "Can I come in?"

She nodded. "Sure, make yourself at home." She threw herself back on her bed, staring up at the black ceiling. "So, what brings you here this late – early – hour?"

"I, um…"

"My parents giving you nightmares?" Gem nodded, shivering. Cindy sat up and chucked her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. "No matter, you can sleep here tonight."

He nodded again.

* * *

"So, um, your parents ever pash or anything?"

Gem shook his head, taking the Oreo she offered him and crunching on it loudly.

"Hold hands?"

"No."

Cindy grinned. "Mine are just mutants, huh?"

"I-I suppose."

Cindy snorted. "There was this one time Mum tied Dad to the railway cos she reckoned he was having an affair with some checkout chic from the shop. I had to so rescue him from getting his head chopped off. She was way outta her mind. Dancing around like a nutter singing 'Chug-a-chug-chug. Here comes a choo-choo-train to get Freddie. Ooo, pop, there goes his head! Oh, my, he didn't need that did he? Noooo! Chug-a-chug…'" Gem looked around at her, shocked. Cindy rolled her eyes. "Parents!"

* * *

Jarod rubbed his eyes and sat up. Miss Parker was kneeling on her knees, her hands clasped together, muttering to herself. The room was completely dark. "What you doin'?" he asked sleepily.

She turned to him in surprise. "Praying. Praying for Gemma's soul like a good little Catholic girl."

"I see. Can I join you?"

She nodded. "Sure."

He nodded, watching her as she continued right on praying. "Thanks."

* * *

Angel leered, pointing Lyle's gun at Sydney, holding a finger to her lips. "Don't say a word, weird-accented little man," she hissed, her eyes wide and popping. He hiccupped, looking quite alarmed.

* * *

Miss Parker froze. "Did you hear that?"

Jarod blinked into the darkness. "You think something's wrong?"

She nodded silently.

* * *

Angel snatched the poetry book out of Sydney's hands and flicked through it absent-mindedly. She blinked, glaring up at Sydney. "Hey, what's going on here, pal?"

Sydney hiccupped again, shaking his head.

"Don't move!" A woman's voice came from the shadows. Miss Parker stepped out of the hall and into the kitchen, her gun trained on the younger woman's head, Jarod trailing close behind.

Angel snorted hysterically. "Mummy? Why, what a pleasant surprise!"

"I said don't move!"

Angel snorted again. "I got a gun too," she cooed babyishly.

Miss Parker scowled. "You leave Sydney out of this!"

Angel rolled her eyes, tutting. "Oh, no, Mummy, couldn't possibly do that, see I'm afraid that's impossible. This is his kitchen afterall." She twisted her head to one side. "And what the Hell is with this BOOK?" she growled.

Miss Parker shrugged. "Well, I dunno, hon, p'r'aps you should ask the good doctor what the HELL is with that book!"

Angel snorted again, rounding on Sydney. "Explain, little man!"

Sydney hiccupped. "C-cathy gave it to me as a present, f-for my birthday…"

"DAH!" Sydney hiccupped again. Angel growled. "QUIT IT!"

Miss Parker grinned. "You're scaring him, little girl."

Angel rolled her eyes, slouching. "DAH!"

"Angel," Jarod interrupted, "I don't understand. What have we done? Please tell us what we've done. Nobody has to get hurt. We can work this out some other way."

The young woman burst into raucous laughter. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

"Quit with the stupid nicknames already!" Miss Parker barked.

The laughter died abruptly to be replaced by quite a nasty scowl. "Nicknames?" Angel roared, her eyes popping worse then ever.

Miss Parker rolled her eyes. "That's right, honey!"

"I HATE YOU!"

Miss Parker blinked. "Pardon? And you're telling me this now? I thought we'd already established that, WHEN YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!"

"KILL YOU?" Angel screamed, tearing at her hair. "KILL YOU?" She started shooting things. The cupboard. The fridge. The vase.

"FUCK! She's BLOODY crazy!"

"I'm not crazy!" Angel raged. "I don't hear voices in my head! I'm not crazy! My parents love each other! And they love me!" She pointed the gun at Sydney. "Stop FUCKING hiccupping!"

Sydney held a hand over his mouth.

Angel blinked, tilting her head to one side. Quite suddenly she began muttering to herself. She passed the gun to Sydney. "Hold?"

Sydney nodded and took the gun from her.

She leant across him and snatched a handbag off the counter and began rummaging in it. "Medication… medication… medication…" She pulled out a little white bottle, unscrewed the lid and spilt half a dozen pills into her hand, popping them into her mouth and swallowing. She turned back to Sydney. "Water?"

He handed her a glass off the counter which she filled at the sink and drank.

She placed the glass back in the sink, slouching. "Yuck!" She looked around the room. Hole in the cupboard. Hole in the fridge. Smashed vase. Bullet in the wall. Gun pointed at her head. She turned back to Sydney. "Nice place, 'part from the stray bit of lead here and there."

Sydney hiccupped.

Angel frowned, turning to the sink and rinsing out her glass before pouring him some water. She held out the glass. "Have a drink."

"Thanks."

"Nice gun."

"Mmm…"

She turned back to Miss Parker. "Erm… not yours then?" She tilted her head, gazing at Jarod. "Yours, Daddy?"

Sydney shook his head, placing the glass down and reaching for her arm. "Lyle's."

"Oh. Him. He's creepy. Mr. Raines told me about him. He likes killing things, people mostly."

"We've noticed."

Angel nodded. "Angelo's nice though. He likes these weird sweets, and this really old music he said Granma played for him. Did she give you that book?"

"Uhm-hm."

"She wrote all those poems?"

"That's right."

"What are they about?"

"Lots of different things."

"Mummy?"

"Some of them."

Angel nodded. "Why is Mummy pointing a gun at me?"

"You forgot to take your medication."

"Again?" She huffed. "I really needa see about getting a diary."

"That could be a good idea."

"Could you tell Mummy that I'm not gonna try and, um, not tryna do that anymore?"

"I will."

"Thanks."

* * *

Miss Parker lowered her gun suspiciously, rounding on Sydney. "Why does she keep calling me Mummy?"

"I think she's your daughter."

Miss Parker choked, turning to stare at Angel who was sitting on the couch telling Jarod about the time she ate so many sugar-dusted doughnuts she puked. "What?!"

"When you were f-fourteen you and, um, you and-"

Miss Parker blushed. "Sy! I remember."

"Oh. You do?"

She nodded. "They said… I thought…"

"They lied. What does your Inner Sense tell you?"

Miss Parker frowned. "I- I hadn't thought of that one."

Sydney nodded.

* * *

"Hey! You've stopped hiccupping."

"Uh-huh."

"Cool. So I didn't do anything bad, right? Daddy reckons 'nah' but he's always nice."

"No, of course not," Sydney assured her.

She nodded. "Then what about them bullets? And where's Uncle I-Love-Killing-Stuff-Cos-It-Gets-Me-High?"

Sydney laughed. "Oh, he's, um, working late…"

Angel narrowed her eyes. "Ah-hah-hah… I did do something bad, didn't I? Aww, crap. I am so going to the Happy Chair."

"The Happy Chair?"

"Angelo's Chair."

"NO! No, we won't let them take you there again."

Angel frowned. "Why not? It's what I do. I go to the Happy Chair. It makes me happy." Sydney hiccupped. "Oh dear, not again…"

"Sorry."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Five**

Cindy and Gem were sitting on the sofa eating Frootloops, watching Teletubbies.

There was a knock on the door and Zoe went to answer it, skipping down the hall. "Oh, hey!"

"Hey. Is Gemma still ali- I mean, is my baby boy okay?"

"Oh. Yeah, he's fine. Watching telly with Cindy."

"Cartoons?"

"I tell Cindy they're not good for her, but she goes right on and ignores me."

Miss Parker emerged from the hall with Zoe and Jarod, a young woman of about twenty following quietly. Cindy and Gem turned around and gazed at the adults. "Who's she?" Cindy asked.

The young woman stepped out from behind Jarod. "I'm Gellina. G-Gemma's sister. I have a little problem."

Cindy frowned. "I see." She turned back to Gem with big eyes. "Weird sister."

Gem rolled his eyes. "Mutant."

They both grinned.

"Gemma! Oh my God, Gemma, you're okay! You're alive!" Miss Parker threw herself on Gem, knocking dry Frootloops all over the sofa.

"Erm… you're suffocating me…"

Miss Parker released him and stepped back. "Oh. Sorry."

"That's okay… Mum…"

She smiled and ruffled his hair. Jarod gave him an encouraging little smile. Gem turned back to Cindy, disturbed. "Definitely mutants!"

* * *

"FREDDIE? FREDDIE FOR HELL'S SAKE, leave that car alone and get your arse in here!"

Lyle strolled in, rolling his eyes. "I'm fixing the exhaust."

Zoe put her hands on her hips, looking very cross. "That car has not been working for two months!"

"You're the one that crashed it."

Zoe growled and dived forward, smacking his head into the wall. "You were the one that was smashed!"

Lyle snorted. "You were driving!"

Miss Parker ran into the kitchen. Zoe let go of her husband and shot him a filthy glare. "Jezebel, found him."

"Good."

Lyle grinned. "Got something you want me to fix?"

"No."

He sighed, looking depressed. "Oh. Got 'ny paint. Ging needs ta chill."

Zoe slapped him across the head. "Freddie, I do not sniff paint!"

"Did when you were seventeen."

Zoe growled. "Rrrr!"

* * *

Miss Parker held out Lyle's gun for him to take. He frowned, blinking. After a moment he snatched it off her, taking a step away from her. "My precious."

Zoe's eyes widened in her face. "I thought I was your precious?!"

Lyle gave her a disturbed look, snorting. "In your dreams, Zoe."

She blinked. "ZOE? I KNEW IT! You're cheating on me for that checkout chic bitch, Zoe! FREDDIE, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" She slapped him hard across the face.

Jarod grabbed his girlfriend and pulled her back, taking her wrists. "Zoe? Zoe, look at me!"

"GINGER!" she screamed. "My name is GOD DAMN Ginger!"

"No it isn't, it's Zoe. They sent you to the Renewal Ward. They mucked with you're head, Zoe. Snap out of it."

Zoe screamed and bit into his arm viciously, rounding on her husband once more. "You stupid bloody bastard! How could you cheat on me for some ugly fucking bimbo with a name like ZOE?!"

Lyle shot his sister a worried glance. "She's crazy!"

Miss Parker smirked, shrugging. "Could be."

Zoe grabbed his arms and shook him. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

* * *

Cindy strolled into the kitchen with Gem. She glanced across at her parents and rolled her eyes, butting in between them. "Stop frigging arguing again!"

"Cindy, keep the HELL out of this!"

Cindy scowled. "I don't give a FUCK who Daddy cheated on you with! You're creeping out my BOYFRIEND!"

Zoe swallowed. Lyle took her hands. "Come on, Ging, it's not everyday that our little girl gets a boyfriend."

Zoe shot him a disgusted glare. "F you Freddie!"

Cindy kicked the fridge on the way out of the kitchen, snatching the box of Frootloops of the side bench and storming out. Gem caught her up and took her hand. "I don't care about your creepy parents, they're just normal creepy parents."

Cindy sniffed. "Thanks."

"Was she pretty?"

Lyle frowned, turning back to his wife. "What?"

"Was she pretty? This Zoe? Prettier than me?" She sniffed.

"No. Not hardly. How could she be? Pretty than you? No way, no such thing!"

Zoe sniffed again. "I hate you," she whined, staring at her bare feet sadly.

"I hate you too."

Zoe lunged forward and chucked him against the wall, kissing him.

"SIS!"

Miss Parker snorted. "Ooo-hoo! Poor liddle Lylie-wylie…"

"ZOE!" Jarod screamed.

"Oh my God!" Zoe backed away from Lyle. "How much fucking scotch did I have?"

"A lot apparently, so they say…"

She glared at Lyle. "Did I ask your opinion? Um? NO!"

"Thanks."

"No probs, honey!" She spun on her heel and froze. "Wh- Where's this? Oh my God, Jarod!" She dived in front of Jarod, growling at Miss Parker. "Stay away from him – the lot of you!"

Lyle snorted. "Like we'd hesitate to shoot you both!"

Zoe scowled. "Dumb wanker!"

Miss Parker scowled, pulling out her gun. "Jezebel!" Jarod shook his head.

Miss Parker narrowed her eyes. "Tell her to keep her filthy MITTS off my guy!"

Jarod snorted, rolling his eyes. "Jez, really-"

"We have a DAUGHTER!"

Zoe froze and turned to Jarod. "You what?"

Jarod shrugged. "A daughter."

"A WHAT?" Zoe screamed, ripping on her hair. "FREDDIE?" After she had had her little scream she calmed down. "Where the Hell is Freddie?"

Jarod gave her a weird look.

"Who the Hell is Freddie?"

"You tell me. Who the Hell is Freddie?"

Zoe rolled her eyes, biffing Jarod across the head. "My husband, sillies!" She laughed.

Jarod frowned.

Zoe hiccupped and stopped laughing. "Oh! My! GOD!"

"Errr… Zoe?"

"Oh my God!"

"ZOE?"

Zoe ripped on her hair again. "Oh my God!"

"Zoe! For Hell's sake!"

"I need therapy!" Zoe screamed. "I NEED THERAPY!" She stormed over to Lyle and seized his arm. "C'mon, baby, we're going shopping. I need ice-cream and cupcakes and salt-and-vinegar chips and paint!" She turned back to her husband. "And what do you mean, you wouldn't hesitate to shoot me? We are so going shopping. And you are so going to tell me where this bitch Zoe is, SO I CAN SHOOT HER FUCKING _BRAINS_ OUT!" She grabbed the gun off him and marched him out the back door.

Lyle shook his head. "I'm not your frigging husband! God damn it, woman! I'm… I'm… I'm with her!" He pointed to Miss Parker.

Zoe spun around, her eyes wide. "You're Zoe?" She screeched. "ARRRGH, DIE BITCH!" She raised the gun.

Miss Parker took a step back. "Lucky somebody took the bullets out of the bloody thing."

Zoe screamed and hurled herself at Miss Parker. "You stupid ugly COW! How dare you steal my FREDDIE?"

Jarod was just standing there looking shocked.

Lyle grabbed Zoe and pulled her away from his sister. "Baby? Baby, look at me! I don't love Zoe. I never loved Zoe. Zoe bloody who? Okay. I love you."

Zoe screamed and tried to bite him.

"GINGER BLOODY JONES!"

She calmed down, content to just glare at him. She sniffed. "I'm sorry about your hand, Freddie. I didn't mean it! I really didn't mean it!"

"I know that."

"And that time I hit you with the fry pan and tied you to the railway track-"

"You didn't mean that either. Ging, c'mon, don't be silly. I know you didn't mean it. You let me sleep in the shower, remember, with the light on?"

Zoe sniffed. "With the light on."

"That's right."

He hugged her. "See, it's okay, Ging, not so bad afterall."

Zoe sniffed again and closed her eyes.

* * *

Miss Parker sighed heavily. "They need therapy."

Jarod nodded silently.

* * *

Cindy traipsed in half an hour later, Gem holding her hand, and walked over to the fridge. "Hmm?" She frowned, on tippy toes. "Mum? Where the Hell is the ice cream?" She glanced across at her parents and smiled. She went on searching until she found some leftover apple custard pie and took that instead.

* * *

Angel, now calling herself Gellina, wandered into the kitchen timidly. "Mummy?"

Miss Parker spun around. "Baby? Come here. Come to Mummy. Where's your brother?"

Gellina frowned. "Gemma's with his girlfriend. One thing I don't get, who's Cindy?"

Miss Parker blinked. "Ci- Cindy? Who's Cindy? _Who is Cindy?_" She turned to Jarod. "Who is Cindy?"

Jarod shrugged. He glanced over at Lyle and Zoe who were now singing some song about "the happy days". "Let's find out, shall we? Gellina… honey… can you please go out to the car and tell Sy to come inside, maybe he can talk some sense into those two- Lyle and Zoe, I mean?"

Gellina nodded. "I will, Daddy." She walked off, humming to herself.

* * *

Miss Parker and Jarod walked into the lounge and stood in front on the sofa. Gem looked up at them and smiled. "Hi. They stopped arguing yet?"

Miss Parker nodded. "We wanted to ask Cindy a few questions."

Cindy shrugged, stuffing a bit of apple custard pie in her mouth. "Mmm," she mumbled, "ask whatever you want, but if you're wondering, no we haven't done it."

Gem snorted.

Miss Parker frowned. "Done what, honey?"

Cindy widened her eyes. "It. You know, mmm-mmm-mmm… It?! Slept together?" She gazed across at Gem and raised her eyebrows.

Gem smiled. "Parents!"

Miss Parker blinked. "You… you've only known each other a… a few hours."

Gem shook his head. "Cindy and I met ages ago. In the Centre. When we were three. I didn't remember at first, then I was like, 'oh'."

"She's from the Centre?!" Miss Parker pulled out her gun.

Gem frowned and placed himself in front of his friend. "Geez, lady, chill. She ain't gonna kill me or nothing. We're friends. Friend's don't do that kinda stuff."

Cindy shook her head in agreement.

Miss Parker scowled, but lowered her weapon. "Tell me! Who you are!"

Cindy sighed and then huffed. "I'm like Gem."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a clone, dah!"

Miss Parker blinked. "A… a clone? A clone of who?"

Cindy sighed again. "A lady called Miss Parker."

"WHAT?"

"Do you know her?"

"I'm Miss Parker!"

Cindy sighed. "Oh. Nice to meet you then. Can we go back to watching our show, you're kinda in the way? And Gem hasn't seen much telly, I'm tryna teach him un-mutant stuff here."

Miss Parker frowned, turning to Jarod, who was smiling. He took her hand. "C'mon, let's go see Sy."

She nodded, relaxing, looking back at the teens for a moment before letting Jarod lead her out of the room over to where Sydney stood talking to their daughter, Gellina.


	7. Chapter 7

**The bit at the end**

Miss Parker went back to her job at the Centre, back to chasing Jarod. Jarod went back to his job outside the Centre, back to being chased by Miss Parker. And they all lived…

Not quite happily ever after…

Gellina got an office job, where she chatted guys up rather than do her paperwork (or ate sugar-dusted doughnuts and read romance novels, depending on her mood).

Lyle and Zoe escaped from the Renewal Ward and kidnapped 'Cindy', apparently under the impression that Gem's parents were part of some evil conspiracy.

Gem ran away from home and went and joined the 'Jones's on their road trip. Cindy had said her Daddy was going to teach her how to drive, or more precisely, how to drive like a lunatic and not comatose yourself…

Gem was crossing his fingers. There were worse ways to go, he supposed.

* * *

**PS**

Five small points

1) This WAS meant to be a Jarod/Miss Parker shipper

2) Oops…

3) The Sydney hiccupping thing is just something I like to do, mean old me, character mutilation…

4) Jezebel is a name I came up with for Miss Parker cos I don't know her real one

5) Better stop rambling… (not you, me)

* * *

_As always, your f__eedback is welcomed and appreciated. Thank you for reading._


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